I quit

Today I quit my job.

I did not want to, but that BITCH drove me to such extremes I could not take it anymore.  As soon as I entered the store she tells me I am to only help customers on the floor.  Well being all 5 people said no I ended up standing around.  Finally she told me to just ring out people so Flo can do her work.  So I did... for two hours it was a flow of customers, it suddenly picked up to extreme and nearly nonstop.  If I was lucky enough to have a breath between people I was answering phones or helping those who had questions.  I even helped a guy who others gave up on.  I helped him find his book and he even thanked me and shook my hand for my hard work (which to say the least was kinda creepy).  Anyways, She comes to the front and helps me with my line, which left me with a few seconds of no customers.  So I turned to a coworker and made idle chitchat.  The amount of people in that store today, if I left the reg. I would turn around to be helping someone.  You can always tell.  You see them hovering around the front, not sure if they are ready or have enough money but sure enough, they will at the counter in moments.    Not to mention the only thing I could do at that point was straighten a section I already straightened.  

ANYWAYS... to the point she turns to me and asks me what I'm doing.  I told her I'm waiting to ring out customers like she wanted.  So she glares with her fucked up eye and tells me to go to her office.  This is never a good sign, and right now, today, this week I've been so rather stressed that I knew I couldn't take a "talk to".  But it came.  And it went something like this:

"how long have you been at this company" she asks, but of course she knows because I told her days ago I was there over a year and I wanted my fucking raise she denied me.  But I reply, "15 months".  I said it in a tone as if she asked me the colour of the sky and I replied blue.  Like Duh you should know this!

Then came, "You've been here long enough to know that you need to multitask in this store, there are things that need to get done!"

"Yes," I said, "but what needs to be done isn't located near the front and if I started I would not be able to see the reg and help customers"

"It is not your job to KNOW what NEEDs to be done," she growled, "It is the managers!" 

My thoughts here raced with such hateful remarks I just wish I had the balls to say them to her.  Such as "Well I'd make a better manager than a lazy cunt like you" or "At least I know what needs to be done, AND can do it, unlike you"  Than a trail of profanity followed of what I thought of her...  but I remained silent and glared at her face.  

NEVER LOOK DOWN.  If you lower your head its showing your weaker than them.  I am not weaker than her, but she does not deserve the power she has!  This next part is what really got me.

"When you are paid to work I expect you to work," OH NO THAT BITCH DIDN'T! "I am not paying you to stand around and hold up the cash register."  OH MY GOD!  That was the straw ladies and gentlemen!  That fucking bitch!  I know my job, I do it damn well.  I work hard!  I am not going to say I work harder than anyone but harder than most!  I do the mundane shit she wants, I finish others work, like she wants, I do the involved projects she wants just to undo them...  AND I do my job on top of that... I help my coworkers when they need it.  I try my best MY FUCKING BEST to be there to keep moral up!  And she tells me this? That's like telling a starving kid from Ethiopia he's fat!  ITS A LIE!

I was so fuming at this point I said nothing, she ranted about me doing nothing and I need to multitask.  How she shouldn't tell me every little thing I need to do...and now I was to go up front and ring out people and if I have a moment of non line to straighten the whole store or stock... (mind you my sections are out of eye view)

Her lasts words to me were "so do you know what you need to do?"  QUIT BITCH!  But I didn't say that I was going to attempt maybe...  so I just spit out "multitask"

I left... On my way to the register I was suppressing all my hatred, rage, feelings anything and I was on the verge of crying.  I knew my stress had boiled over I couldn't take it.  I just kept thinking about how she said I wasn't doing anything.  Because of less than 30 seconds of mindless chitchat, it meant I wasn't doing anything.    On the way to the register a coworker asked me if something had been done.  I didn't mean to be rude but I just yelled "I don't know, ask your manager!"  It was that point I got so frustrated my face was red and tears poured from my eyes.  I hated that place.  The place I loved so much.  I use to look forward to coming to work.  I loved my job, my coworkers, everything.  The hours sucked but I was happy.  I've never had that before...  but this bitch came.  it was the first time since I started I didn't want to go in to work.  That I hated it.  I always watched the schedule like a hawk to make sure I wasn't working with her...I loathed the place.

I reached the front and turned right around.  I went into the back and sat in the bathroom debating.  I didn't want to quit.  I really didn't.  I figured if I calmed down it would be okay, but oh no.  I'm not allowed a moment.  She sent a coworker back there to bang on the door to tell me to go back up front.  I couldn't take it. I snapped I called my grandmother.  I asked her if I had her permission to quit.  She said I could.  I figured I should ask being she is the one I'll be mooching off of.  I grabbed my coat and my things and I stormed out of there. Passing the register I said "I quit"  I don't think she heard me but I don't care.  I left.  I really... really didn't want to do this.  I keep crying thinking... what did I do?  But I just couldn't take that.  I can not take people telling me I'm not doing anything when I work so hard.

well... now I don't have a job.  I think I'm going to go, talk to Sky a bit...  get something to eat... and take a few days to ponder my life.